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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?